go with the flow
For the longest time I didn’t allow myself to create because I tried so hard to conform to society and what society deemed as creative or acceptable. How if you write for educational purposes it has to be within a format approved by the teacher or professor requesting the writing. Be an essay, paper, or exam.
As time goes on while I create and write for the desires I have towards writing, I begin to realize I have my own flow. As I write this, I write it for you. The reader for which to inspire you too, that you have your own flow. Not every flow is the same as the next. We are all our own channelers, our own channels. It’s like switching channels on the radio or television. Each channel, show, movie, song all have their own flow, their own style for which we tune into. It’s all about how we communicate, yet how others can connect through that communication.
For the longest time I muted myself in expression, mainly due to fear of failure. Now I realize the longer I mute the expressions through how I channel, the longer the wait time happens for those that can tune into my channel. The longer those go on not realizing they do in fact have someone who can channel their own tunes. That can feel lonely sometimes. A reminder; to be comfortable in being “alone” means to feel comfort in the discomfort. There will always be a situation, circumstance, conversation for which we find ourselves uncomfortable in. Do we automatically listen to the voice that whispers in our ear and tells us we should quickly escape to what or where we feel comfortable at? Most opt out, those “most” don’t realize or aren’t open enough through mindfulness to know that the discomfort allows freedom, that discomfort shows us the key of understandings for what will bring us the comfort in the moment of.
We humans get so wrapped up in the suffering and the pain in life that oftentimes it mutes us from being able to enjoy the life’s simplicities. To enjoy that it’s about the journey and not the end of the journey. If we were able to snap our fingers and get to the end at a split of a second, the instant gratification blows out fast like a quick fuse. Where is the enjoyment in that? The humility that comes with pain most often face, shows us where we can smile in gratitude.
Every single “fuck this shit” of my life, has brought knowledge of why this is all happening FOR me rather than happening TO me. Many have the mindset that everything that happens in their life is happening to them. Like all the shit show life altering moments. They end up taking on this victim mentality that takes a hold of their life. Until they are able to see it for what it is, they won’t be able to enjoy those simple memories in the making. Until they are able to allow the shift of that “this is happening to me” mindset to the “this is happening for me” mindset, they won’t be able to enjoy life. It’s a major limiting block I see many in, hence my allowing this to be the first official article I share with the world. Even though I have a multitude of articles waiting to be published for the world to experience.
When I experienced a work comp hand injury last year, almost it’s year anniversary on Saint Patrick’s Day. At first hand, (badumdish had to do a hand pun when speaking about this injury) I wanted to hate the world. I wanted to hate everything and ponder upon; “Why is this happening to me?” I would hold that mindset and self destruct with it. Overtime as I was healing and my hand was regaining the full functionality back. Those six months allowed me the space of simplicity. See, before the injury had happened, I was overworking myself to the bone. On top of that I didn’t quite balance the social aspects of my life while working, so I would get overstimulated. As well as how the work life at both locations I worked at we’re pretty fast paced. I work two roles at a movie theater as a bus/runner & bartender. Then worked weekends at a bar as a barback. Those jobs were so I could live a stable lifestyle. After my hand injury I speak of having the simplicities of life, however I won’t brush off the struggle I faced or the rock hard lows I had felt. Some of the lowest of lows I felt were in the healing months of my hand. I’m forever going to show gratitude for all I received during that time of my life. I received amazing connections. I received so much love and compassion. I received amazing physical therapists, I will eventually shout those beautiful souls out into the world in time. I received time and space I wouldn’t have had otherwise had I continued the overworking route I was on. I received new perspective shifts in life. Being able to go from “why is this happening to me?” to “I see what this is showing for me.”
I speak about this while being mindful that everything can happen for a reason if we apply it so. As well as be mindful that one can put themselves into a trance of psychosis. Regardless of what your stance is on life or whatever subject you are expressing about. What are you reader, sharing perspective wise? Are you in the trance of it happening “to” you or “for” you? Each entrance can be enticing. “To” is the energy of ego, “For” is of humility or mindfulness. What flow do you see yourself in?
That bit of “to” and “for” can be applied when approaching the concept for which flow you are to go. Oftentimes when we are with the “to” mindset we feel like we are drowning in our sorrows, we feel like we are in that instance of “when it rains it pours”. That’s when our “to” mindset is trying to show us that we are fighting the rip current. If we continue to have that “to” mindset we are going to drown while trying to fight the flow of the rip current. Versus when having the mindset of “for”, we are able to go with the flow and see where the current carries us. Rather than fighting it and being limited from seeing the beauty surrounding us. Always mistaking the excitement we feel in the rush of life as anxiety.
As I finish this article, I’ll speak on my experience. Every mishappening, I’ve felt to the core of my existence, has shown me how to embody being grateful. The gratitude grows as I go with the flow of life. I used to have a rather approach of hating life and being disgusted I would have to go through the mishappenings one would experience in their lifetime. And that’s because I would live in that “to” mindset, where I thought I could control life. As if every little action lived in my life was controlled by my very wee hands. I realized how manipulative my actions were alone in this. Or even to the nitty gritty details of what people pleasing meant. (A deep form of manipulation at it’s finest)
As I flow, grow and go; i’ve had the amazing opportunity of the human experience. Up to the very center of us being souls in human shells. How flowing will allow us to go deeper in depths. And when people have the opportunity of knowing me, they see that I’m one of depth. I desire the deep conversations, the deep knowing, the deep desiring we all embody and can expand on.
Thank you, as always much love to you & yours - jes. <333 ((:
